‘Tell your kid, ‘No’: Teachers push back on gentle parenting trend

Could your parenting style be the reason teachers are throwing in the towel? We’ve discussed the pushback against “gentle parenting” among parents and experts before, but now teachers are speaking out about this approach.

Emmy, a kindergarten teacher, had this message for parents on TikTok: “Tell your kid ‘no.’ OK, tell your child ‘no.’ Tell them ‘no’ as a complete sentence, and do not teach them that telling them ‘no’ invites them to argue with you, OK? Because if I can’t tell your child no as an adult, and they don’t respect the no, they’re basically unteachable.”

Tina Midkiff is a longtime educator and has owned a daycare for nearly 20 years. She spoke with The Tamron Hall Show and said she’s seen it all — and it’s getting worse.

Here’s a real-life situation a parent shared. A toddler named “Johnny” threw a shoe at the music teacher and hit him in the stomach. What happened next? Johnny was forced to apologize to the teacher, and that was the end of it.

Midkiff explained what’s supposed to happen to Johnny without gentle parenting.

“Well, they teach us that we’re supposed to redirect, which is not working because we’re redirecting them to a reward,” Midkiff said. “There has to be a concept that you don’t get to get picked up and go get ice cream.”

What happens if the child begins to negotiate?

“If parents start parenting at a young age, we’re not going to get to the point where a child is going to throw a chair. They’re going to know that there’s going to be consequences, not necessarily from the teacher, but at home, because when the parents get the phone call, they know something’s going to happen, but if we’re not parenting them to that point to understand that, then they negotiate,” Midkiff said.

From verbal outbursts to physical aggression, educators said student behavior has reached a boiling point. One teacher described it as “emotional warfare,” where every day feels like a battle for basic respect and safety.

The result? Educators are walking away from the careers they once loved. Schools nationwide are reporting record-high turnover rates.

But still, there’s hope. Some districts are investing in behavioral support teams and mental health resources, while fewer and fewer educators are afraid to have difficult conversations with parents about their children’s behavior.